Comments on: LDS Growth Rates

By: Donner

Donner — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:01:28 +0000

I think that young single adult wards serve a great purpose if organized and lead correctly. Too often, too little is expected of the members, they don’t have a meaningful calling and they don’t feel like they belong.

There is a new site, ysaleaders.org, that identifies the challenges and provides concrete solutions on how to have better ysa wards. One thing is clear, that what is happening currently in many ysa wards is not helping our members come to Christ. We need to do a better job in helping our young single adults serve each other, repent, and move forward in their lives.

By: Clark

Clark — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 03:12:50 +0000

I think even in Utah they are very helpful. The problems start popping up for folks over 25. Many young women don’t appreciate being asked out by older guys in their late 20′s. Plus there tend to be significant social differences between the Freshman and Sophomore aged folks and the out making a career folks. But the people in their late 20′s or early 30′s who are single also typically don’t really fit in or enjoy regular wards either. Then there is the social aspects which can be troublesome. Typically in Utah single wards your friends disappear every few years as they marry, move on, or get careers out of states. Suddenly by the time you are 26 or 27 you realize that even with single wards meeting people you enjoy hanging out with is much, much more difficult.

By: Rich Knapton

Rich Knapton — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:42:06 +0000

Well, I guess it depends one whether you live in the Land of Bountiful (Idaho and Utah) or the Land of Desolation (everywhere else) I left my home ward, in the Land of Desolation, went on my mission and at the end was told to start on a new mission: getting married. I came home to my ward, looked around and asked: “Where are the single women?” “Oh”, I was told, “they all left to go to BYU.” I didn’t have the money nor the inclination to go to BYU. (I once told a ward that I had made a career staying away from BYU. Boy! I didn’t do that again.) I enjoyed being a Mormon among the Gentiles. It was fun and I got lots of opportunities to talk about the Church. I began dating non-members from school, eventually fell in love and asked her to marry me. Then an angel must have come up and club me upside my head. She didn’t understand the Church and made like of many aspects of the Church. I asked myself do I want to leave the Church or deal with these kinds of remarks the rest of my life. No to both so we parted.

It was about that time I found out about the singles ward at the Stanford Institute of Religion. I went there and aha women, LDS women. I went on dates, firesides, camping and hiking all with LDS women. Finally I fell in love again, and took her to the temple.

In the Land of Desolation are single wards critical? Absolutely!

Rich

By: Catania

Catania — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:09:37 +0000

I was talking to a woman yesterday who suggested that we need to get rid of singles wards. Her comment got me thinking about this blog topic. Would getting rid of singles wards help the “problem” we’re facing with singles in the church? Do singles wards perpetuate the problem?

While I was single, I stayed in a family ward. I was grateful for that experience (I had two kids in primary, so I couldn’t imagine leaving the family ward). Even though I didn’t have the conventional family, I felt comforted by the people in my ward who were also raising children. When I went to singles functions, I felt more judged than the other way around. I’m just wondering, Is my friend right? Are singles wards helping or hindering these single adults?

By: Clark

Clark — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:10:56 +0000

I suspect “running out of 19 year olds” is hyberbole. But I agree that the number of kids in families will mean that you don’t have as many. I noticed that in many places people go inactive around getting out of high school and then get reconverted later. Indeed I vaguely recall a statistic that something like 30% of all American members were inactive at least one year of their life. Utah probably skews things the other direction give the social aspects of the Church are different here than elsewhere. But I know back home on the east coast I’d say most of the leadership I knew had been inactive sometime or other as had my Mission President.

I kind of suspected the strong restrictions on who could go on a mission would have to be modified. They really are too strong even though I completely understand the motivations for having them.

As Catania notes though, it really is hard to be single in a church that is so focused on family. I didn’t get married until 35 and let me tell you, even in Utah it really is a struggle. Now that I have a family and am on the other side I can understand why it’s so hard for families to reach out. Kids just take a lot of time and once you are done with them, done having the occasional time with your spouse, and done your callings there’s not really a lot of time left. Contrast this with the average single adult whose problem is perhaps they have too much time and are looking to fill it up. Despite the rhetoric it’s just very hard to do that at Church. Which then leads to other tensions.

By: Catania

Catania — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:42:59 +0000

Matt – I definitely agree with you, and I think that I may not have been clear. I think that sometimes ACTIVE members forget that the Church is more than their social function. It is up to those who are active and converted to reach out, make friends, and remember the principles of stewardship.

I think that we all go through difficulties – I was a divorced woman in a family ward. It was hard. I lost a lot of friends (it’s not that people weren’t friendly, it’s just that I think they didn’t know how to treat me.) Somehow, I was able to make it just fine, but it emphasized the importance of reaching out to all.

When we extend a hand of love to others we are living up to the committments that we have made with Christ – he taught us that a good shepherd would leave the 99 and search for one. Not only that, we are often blessed as we learn from those whom we serve.

By: Rameumptom

Rameumptom — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:36:29 +0000

A recent discussion I had with the head of one of our LDS Family Services organizations was enlightening. He said the Church is running out of 19 year olds to send on missions.

Reasons? Among the key reasons are: 1. Families having fewer kids. 2. The Church raised the bar on missionary qualifications. 3. More and more of our converts are women. 4. More and more of our conversions are occurring overseas, especially in poorer areas of the world. 5. We are not retaining our young men, with many going inactive by the time they are ready to be ordained deacons.

It was suggested to me that while the Church won’t lower the bar, they may “adjust” it some.

By: Matt W.

Matt W. — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 03:55:44 +0000

Catania, I know lots of people who are through and through converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but have a hard time with the social aspects of the church. I even know some who love the Gospel but are innactive because the feel unwelcome at church. This happens all the time. Church is more than a social function, but it is also a social function. That’s why every new member needs a friend, etc.